Study Group

  　A  woman said to us:“I recently found out that I'm going to be attending three or four holiday parties, and as soon as I heard that, I started thinking, Oh, Mary's going to be there, and she's going to be gorgeous. I started immediately comparing myself to other people. I'd like to stop going that and feel good about me and just enjoy the parties, no matter who's there. Could you help me apply the processes of pivoting and positive Aspects regarding myself-consciousness. I really don't even want to attend these parties.”
  　We explained:While your feeling of self-consciousness is amplified as you consider your attendance of these parties, neither the party nor Mary is the reason for you discomfort. It often seems complicated to sort out your ralationships with other people, even tracing the begining of these feelings back into your childhood, but there is no value in doing that. You have the ability, from right where you stand, to find positive aspects or negative aspects─to think of the wanted or unwanted─and whether you begin the process right now or several days before you attend your first party, or whether you wait until you are at the party, the work is the same: Looking for things that feel good when you focus on them.
  　Because you have more control over what is activated in your own mind, it is usually much easier to find the positive aspects of a situation before you are standing right in the middle of it. If you do imagine the situation as you want it to be, and you do practice your positive response to the upcoming situation, then when you are at the party you will witness the control that you set into motion days before.
 　 You cannot feel good and bad at the same time. You cannot focus upon wanted and unwanted at the same time. If you have trained your thoughts to what you consider to be good, or unwanted before you arrive at a party, the Law of Attraction will deliver to you things that feel good and are wanted. It really is as simple as that.
 　 If you want to feel different at these upcoming parties than you have felt at parties in previous years, you must begin telling a different story. The story you have been telling goes something like this:“I'm only invited to these parties because of my ralationship with my mate. It really isn't important to anyone that I be there.I'm not really a part of his work emvironment, and I son't really understand most of the things that they're interested in. I'm an outsider. Mary doesn't feel like an outsider like I do. Her confidence is obvious in the way she dresses and carries herself. I am near Mary. I hate feeling like this. I wish I didn't have to go.”
  　Here is an example of an attempt at a better-feeling story:“My mate is well respected at his firm. It's nice that his company occasionally provids an opportunity for people who work there to include their spouses and to get to know one anther. No one there expects me to be up to speed with the inner workings of that environment. In fact this will be a party where they will probably enjoy thinking about other things than their work.
  　“Life is much larger than what happens at my husband's office. And since I'm never there, I may very well appesr to be a breath of fresh air to many of them because I'm not bogged down in the things they're troubled about. Mary seems light snd friendly. She's clearly not bogged down in office politics or problems. It's fun to watch her. She's interesting. I wonder where she buys her clothing─they are very pretty things she wears.”
  　You see, it is not necessary that you sort out every insecurity that you have ever felt and use this office party as a means to solve it. Just find something positive to focus upon and feel the benefit of having done so, and in time, Mary will be a nonissue, or maybe a friend. But in any case, it is your decision to make, and your vibration practice to make it so.

gorgeous(adj.)華麗的

self-consciousness(n.)自覺意識

attendance(n.)到場；出席

occasionally(adv.)偶爾

spouse(n.)配偶